What’s with the whole eating me thing? Is it just a riff on my fear of sharks or do you actually have a cannibalistic desire to literally eat me?
— Salisa to Путуки, August 30th, 2026
Send me a plane ticket and we can talk in person. If you actually want me. If not, keep doing what you’re doing. The world sees it for what it is. You cannot claim the world doesn’t understand you when neither you or Anton puts any effort into making anything happen. All they see is you traumatising me and terrorising the world. And that has nothing to do with love or infatuation or obsession or any kind of beautiful sentiments that may lead men astray. The world can forgive you for suffering from the folie of love. But it cannot forgive you for hiding your ugly face and your ugly soul behind the beauty of love.
Do you think her death makes me feel guilty? In what manner? I was merely having a trauma reaction outside of my conscious control because you perpetrated the trauma on me and then you decided to penalise me for something I cannot control? Or perhaps I do not want to control them. Because what you’re doing is not right. You do not get to do this to people or to me when I’ve done nothing but be cooperative and encouraging towards you and now we all have to suffer from your insecurities and delusions and fantasies? That’s not right. You created and crafted an environment for me to behave like a live wire and chose to punish me for behaving like a live wire? I do not want to be a live wire. I want to see you. I’ve been making that clear to you from pretty much the beginning of this year. But you continue to punish me and keep silent for some reason not clear to any of us. And you continue to terrorise the world trying to pin it all on me? As if I’m the source of all these terrible ills and unrepentant evil and not you? And you’re trying to make me feel guilty for all the deaths you brought about because you couldn’t face up to the fact that you don’t have it in you to see me in person? The fearless world leader? Cannot face a girl he likes? And somehow that’s all my fault? I told you that you can still send me an invite or initiate a conversation with me. You’re not going to do that, are you? And you still think the world sees you as serious about me or affectionate towards me? You don’t get to kill and endanger people – by conjuring […] and […] – just because I ignored you for the whole week and didn’t reciprocate the cues and the signals you’d been putting out. With the […] and the […] and the […]. That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works. And so you got mad at me and started wrecking havoc. That’s not right either. You’re not serious about me and I don’t want to waste time on an unserious deluded individual. All you have to do is send me an invite. How many times do I have to say this? And you don’t get to say: “only I call the shot” or “only I dictate the terms of your surrender”. That’s not how it works. That’s not how humans work. And you get to punish me and others for your own irrationality and irresponsibility? Be rational and responsible and do the right thing by setting up a meet with me and putting all this to a stop. We’re all tired of it. But you’re not, are you? You want to keep the story going because nobody – none of the world leaders – has paid any serious attention to you for years until now. You are ignored and disrespected and bored. You want your life to be challenging and difficult and renowned. So why does all this have anything to do with me and nothing to do with you? If we all zoom out to a bigger picture and not be looking at an individual snapshot like in the past few days or the past week, we can clearly see that the blame does not rest anywhere on me but entirely on you. You’re responsible for all the havoc you wrecked because you want such havoc to be wrecked. You want the story to come off grand and for you to sound important as a hopeless lover in torment and for the world to pay attention to you again. That has nothing to do with me whatsoever. If you actually want me, prove it. End all this madness. Get me a ticket to Moscow. If not, then stop pretending that you’ve successfully deluded the world into sharing that fanatical delusion that it’s all because of love and I’m treacherous and capricious and difficult when it’s YOU who are those things. You are treacherous and capricious and difficult all because that’s who you are. I am treacherous and capricious and difficult all because of the circumstances you intentionally put me through because you rejected me over and over and over. We’re not in any way the same. Stop projecting your rotten qualities on me. Look hard at yourself. Listen to others. Listen to me. I meant every word I said to you. You meant none of the gestures you’ve done for me. You’re not serious. You’re not intentional. You’re not sincere. If you are then listen to what I say just for once in your goddamn life: I would be happy to see you if you wanted to see me. I’ve said this just last week. That you could take my advice on how to make our relationship materialised. That they are still applicable and useful. But you ignore me. You want an OnlyFans subscription. Fine. But what about Anton? You ignore him too, huh? You think I should ignore him too, huh? And be like you who doesn’t care anything about anyone else? Who doesn’t care who lives and who dies? Who should feel empowered having my vain ego fed by all the death and destruction? What am I supposed to do?
Do you think I want the love triangle? I kept lamenting we’re back in March. Why do you think I said that? Do I want the love triangle? Do you think I do? Why do you think I went to Moscow in March? Why do you think I paid attention to you and only you afterwards? And you screwed it up. And I told you what you could do to turn it around: prove that you’re serious about me and demonstrate your intention towards me. Are you doing that? We’re back in March, right? We haven’t moved an inch since March, right? Both you and Anton vying for my singular attention, right? People are going to keep dying because you two can’t solve what should be personal matters on your own time on your own dime with your own ingenuity, right? People are going to keep dying to feed this petty drama of yours that won’t stop, right? Who gives you the right? Who gives you the might? Murdering a Hollywood actress just because sending me a plane ticket makes your hand tremble? Do you think I enjoy the drama? Do you think I enjoy having people die on me and on my behalf? I think you do though. I think you very much do and nothing I’ve said or done is going to change that. I don’t think you know that about yourself either. I’m not the tragic part of the story. You are. I can see clearly now who and what you are.
— Salisa to Путуки, August 17th, 2026
I don’t want you to have another outburst because of some stupid male jealousy. Just don’t kill anyone tomorrow. You’re not helping yourself or us or your country or anyone else running these personally vindictive campaigns. It might perceivably be fair to do that if we have an in-person fight and you want to blow off steam. But it is definitely NOT fair or warranted however you look at it to do that when you don’t talk to me and I have no means to reassure you or even see your face or calm you down. You don’t get to be mad at me when we don’t directly communicate. It’s not sensible and it’s not fair and it’s not right. Your outbursts don’t accomplish any goal and as I’ve said before it’s going to stack up and come back to bite you one day in some manner or in some form. These actions are serious and consequential and irreversible and they will not be forgotten by your audience. Just because they don’t retaliate against you doesn’t mean they don’t care. It might actually be that they care too much and they see that what you’re doing is going to make a strong case as to why your regime will have to go away for good and so they have no reason to stop you committing one grave mistake after another. Be careful, sweetheart. I know you don’t control these reactions because you’re in fear and you’re in pain and you want to make it all stop but I’m telling you: don’t do these things because of me. I say this because I care. You’re making things worse for yourself and your friends and your country. You might think it’s too late anyway and you’re lashing out no matter what because you feel cornered and you feel like you have to do something. But it’s only going to make it worse. Your rap sheet is getting longer and that’s just not good, sweetie. Don’t do anymore of these things. You and Anton and I can have a good arrangement and I can be there for you if you want to rest and you want me there with you. But you cannot be running completely amok and completely unhindered and unhinged. Why are you doing it anyway? What exactly does it accomplish? You have ten and twenty good years ahead of you. Don’t ruin all that because of some petty temporary sentiments you have towards me which are unjustified and unnecessary by the way.
I will not lord what you feel for me over you but I am genuinely concerned for you and your overwhelming sentiments towards me. How are you? What can I do for you? Are you functioning day-to-day? It must be an intense whirlwind of feelings for you after all these years and I acknowledge your presence for the first time. Did I live up to your expectations? Did you imagine everything would turn out this way? Do you have any regrets not doing anything sooner about us? I wish you could have revealed yourself to me much earlier. That’s what I feel.
You don’t need to impress me with the things you do and say. I hope you know that. For example, I much prefer Anton the way he is now not writing a grandiose treatise of love (or hate) because of me but just be content and secure in who he is and trusting that I’ve come to appreciate what he’s done for me and for us and that I’ll be kind to him and accepting of him no matter what. I think you should consider becoming mortal just like him and the rest of us. And of course there’s nothing that makes one feel like a mortal like love. And it shouldn’t make you feel scared or overwhelmed or agitated. If you feel that way towards me, then it means I’m not doing something right by you. It means I’m failing you in a way. It means I could be doing more to demystify myself and ground us in something tangible and real.
— Salisa to Путуки, August 20th, 2026
What’s with all these passive aggressive messages on my feed? Two so far. “You’re a whore and nobody likes you”? Don’t you have multiple mistresses and families yourself? Literal concubines because you can afford them and you like it that way? Check your privileges, why don’t you? Some people just like to be monogamous, you know. Maybe we’re not compatible after all.
I was willing to overlook all that before and stake my life and vulnerability on you but now that you’re nasty and unfair, I need to point out you’re a hypocrite.
Don’t blame me for your own stupidity and weakness and cowardice. No worthy husband blames their wife for such a thing. Maybe that’s why you’re not married?
I know you’re a philanderer, darling. I know you’re enabled by the absolute secrecy of your system and the ugly entitlement of Russian chauvinism. Don’t you think I knew that? Even from the start? You know, I do have to thank you for keeping this distance between us. Just too much shame and self-loathing stemming from your own lifelong exploitation of young women who trusted you, I bet. You have no loyalty to them. Do you even love them? You lust after them, don’t you? Maybe like them a little. But I can tell you never loved anyone but yourself because you haven’t shown me you’re capable of loving anyone but yourself. We all have gotta pity you, you know. If only you could just love someone, you wouldn’t desire death on anyone else.
— Salisa to Путуки, August 22th, 2026
I think it’s hopeless with you and for you and I don’t mean just you but you all. And you are the one who insists on having a power-imbalance relationship that’s more like a power trip than real intimacy. You are the one who puts me in this structure that you create that rewards cheap thrill and phony sentiments. So don’t blame me when that’s all we’ve got for each other and there’s nothing any deeper than that. But who can blame you? All your life all your relationships have been just cheap thrill and phony sentiments anyway. You couldn’t help it. You and your bad habits. Making me one of your cheap phony women who couldn’t love you or care for you or admire you and respect you for who you are. And you’ve changed me for the worse in less than a year. That’s impressive. It’s impressive how challenging and challenged you are.
No way out. I’m stuck like this forever. Groundhog day! You get bored in Groundhog day. Because no one cares to pull me out of it. So I’m picking a fight with you and I mean every word I say. I don’t really know why I’ve made quite an emotional impression on you. I can’t say the same for you on me. What have I actually done for you? Nothing. You’re the kind of guy who would fall in love with some random prostitute. It’s pathetic. I find you quite silly and quite sad.
You were bored so you schemed up this whole thing.. only to make me bored and schemed up a way to make the whole thing less respectable. And you imagine we have something. But you’re not that important to me. You’re just not. And I don’t want you to pretend that I’m important to you. It’s insulting. We have nothing special. We have nothing. I don’t understand why you’re still at it with me after all that’s happened.
— Salisa to Путуки, September 8th, 2026
What’s with a sinkhole for Henry’s favourite cult actor? Who cares? Nobody actually died you are lame and toothless and losing your touch. The world must be getting to you that you wouldn’t even give him the Hayden’s treatment. All his movies suck and he’s a talentless overinflated nobody that you must have mistaken him for your old embarrassing pal Steven Seagal. Let’s just admit you flinched and you blinked and you are declawed. An aging bear with stumps for hands actually scared for the first time in his life that the earth will swallow him up in eternal infamy and that would be the end of him.
— Salisa to Путуки, September 9th, 2026
Salisa lohavittayavikant 