Is this the unanimous and final stance of the Russian government as to its intention and goal? We must not operate or make decisions based on hidden feelings and conjectures and assumptions without examining the facts of the case. I want to get rid of feelings and conjectures and assumptions that have been plaguing us all, and bring facts and proven demonstrated actions to the forefront. Other government officials need to act in this way and if they deem your intention outright hostile instead of misguided, deceptive instead of genuine, vengeful instead of hesitant, they can act accordingly and make the right political or diplomatic decisions in regards to you and me and the Russian government and its people. Maybe they will choose to declassify and make this whole thing public after all if it serves an agenda that fits them. Maybe they will finally work up the courage and ask Lavrov about it on camera and plaster it all over headlines and social media. It shouldn’t be a decision to take lightly. Therefore we need hard facts and conversations not light humours and insinuations.
This is not a threat. You will be tempted to interpret this as a threat or as me hardening against you and so you need to harden back against me in response (not the kind of hardening I want with you but it is what it is). But I can assure you that this is not the case. You would be surprised the amount of rationalisation and justification a human mind is capable of spinning to refuse to acknowledge something essential about themselves, be it feelings or vulnerabilities. I also need to know what stance I should take towards my Russian neighbor. Should I start vandalising his property? Poison his dog? Take the kitchen knife over and stab him in his face? Luckily I banged up my wrist pretty good last night hitting things including myself and have now lost some sensation in my right hand and will struggle to hold a knife firmly in my grasp and do ungodful things to anyone.
But here we are back on feelings and conjectures once again. We should avoid that and face the situation squarely and factually and proceed on from that.
[…]
For example, I will not take seriously what or who Anton refers to as “enemies” (full phrase: “superior enemies”). That is what I mean by feelings and conjectures. They are just that and nothing more. His lack of engagement with me or response to me on the other hand is a hard fact. We take that into account. We can almost say that what he is doing is a form of play and provocation. That he has no genuine romantic feelings towards me only hostile and vengeful tendencies. Romantic man courting a woman wouldn’t go about it in such a way. Lording his control over her while refusing to engage with her or placate her or talk to her. It is mental and emotional torment and nothing more or less.
I need to know what your genuine intentions are as demonstrated by hard facts and real world actions and not what we, altogether or individually, presume them to be. I need to know what feelings to have towards you personally and how to go on from here. That would change everything. I wouldn’t be aligned with or sympathetic towards you anymore and perhaps that’s what you have wanted all along. Here is another instance of feelings and conjectures but human reality is full of them. You would be reluctant to accept the insatiable needs for revenge against the most minor slight (me writing all this out in front of everyone can be perceived as a slight against you, because you cannot think objectively or act fairly, only feel subjectively and act petulantly) as something inborn within you but see everything as a form of provocation that then justifies your tendencies to be violent and cruel. You always see something lacking or devious about me and will go out of your way to interpret any of my actions however harmless as a betrayal against you and you use it to justify your violent and cruel behaviours towards me. When in actuality, you just want to be violent and cruel because that’s who you are. Your ongoing treatment of me and by that I mean refusal to engage with me while having me believe that you are genuine or intentional with me can certainly be interpreted as part of the cruel and violent campaign against me. We all choose to act in good faith believing it is misguided love and obsession that have gotten out of hand. But what if we are wrong? That you deceive everyone including yourself and you don’t even know about it.
[…]
No one could save you and you can’t even save your own nation. You choke again and again. You want to see it self-destruct, don’t you? You gotta hate them. The damn Russians. They tried to kill your wife and daughter in a car accident after all. They are a stupid race. They are mean and cruel and backward. You secretly hate them, don’t you? They wouldn’t let you resign and live your life in peace but keep you in this state and you couldn’t get away from them. The first time you wanted to get away from it all was over twenty years ago. You have been trying again and again but to no avail. Even the President of Russia is under their thumbs. The goddamn Russians. And so you are subconsciously trying to bring it all down and go out in a blaze of glory.
— Salisa to Путуки, June 25th, 2026
Your “0%” answer? So casual and so smartass? Is being registered by all government agencies around the world, my idiot darling. And what do you think they think of your answer? That you really are not serious about me or care about me or seek a peaceful resolution with me and have no intention whatsoever to treat me decently and humanely and kindly. They probably think it’s just a game to you. A sadistic twisted enjoyment of a Russian rapist slaver. Of course I know that’s not really you or all you. But people can certainly think in a way that’s not fair to you but truthful to the situation. But being a Russian, you don’t care or know what other people think or feel and how what you say comes horribly across to others. And so this continues to be painful for everyone. For me, above all. Because I’ve tried my best only to see my efforts sabotaged and shat and spat upon again and again. I do wonder what’s the point of all this I’ve been doing?
It’s a good thing I write all this out. To draw an emphasis on the mindset and the lack of bureaucratic caution and professionalism, if not also collective stupidity and cowardice, of a group of arguably the most powerful men in the world.
You know, you all may have seen me gather stuff around the house today. Solid, spiky, heavy, fragile, flammable materials. I thought of even hurting the damn dog for god’s sake. I think I’d cross the line with everyone if I were to hurt a dog. But then what about my bunnies? What if they starve to death because I cannot afford their food? I think about hurting an innocent man. An innocent man who was pacing back and forth one day around the neighborhood visibly upset and gloomy and brooding if not also shaken who could barely look at me in the face after it became clear that this whole thing went above you. I could still be hurting him. Or at least breaking his window (I thought “should I bring a chair over because the garden bush is quite tall and I can’t make a good aim at the window on the other side of the fence from the ground?”) and dumping my smelly garbage all over his lawn and even finding my alcohol stash useful (I’ve always been scared of flicking a lighter for some reason but I don’t think that’s going to stop me given my momentum). But then it occurs to me, “why am I doing this over a confused old man who couldn’t even work up the courage to talk to me?”. Then there’s you. Hopeless idiot that’s going to make matters worse no matter how hard I try. It’s not really a tradition of my culture or the more enlightened Western culture for a girl to be abused silly by her lover and not making a fuss over it. Over there in the primitive bushes of Eastern Europe it is probably expected there to be some form of physical violence in a domestic situation. So in all your eyes I’m probably getting off easy enduring verbal and emotional violence from my Russian rapist slaver pig. But elsewhere this isn’t acceptable either. It’s in no way acceptable and all the other people around the world already hostile to you find it morally and ethically repulsive. […]
It’s not worth becoming a crazy person over a man who has failed me and everyone so fantastically. What’s the point? Is he even worth that much?
That’s how I regulate myself sometimes. God I love my brain. Saves my bacon many times.
[…]
You know, in a way, I am perfectly content and restful in my daily going-about knowing that the worst possible outcome for me is having to ask someone to loan me money to keep myself afloat. I’m sure I can find a few willing donors with some pocket change. Whereas you and your current homeground predicament? Ooh nasty. Whose fault is that? Whose is it? Really think about it. And don’t point your damn dirty little finger at me. I’ve done everything I could. You cannot help a group of retards so hellbent on hurting themselves and each other in one giant self-loathing orgy.
So what happened from my Moscow trip up until today? What is it that goes on in your head? I think you all are suicidal. That’s grand. It is what it is because what you are is stupid. You cannot help a stupid race when they’re too stupid to save themselves with all the generous help in the world including from me.
I do wonder how much your “0%” offhanded response is going to continue hardening the resolve on the battlefield for all the top brass on the other side monitoring us and might even tip the scale of the few sympathisers you have remaining towards viewing you as reckless and irresponsible and cruel. But I’m sure to the dimwitted Russians that doesn’t mean anything for anyone and nothing is essentially being registered by your thick skulls. But I can assure you, it means a great deal to everyone else what you say to me. So in a way my laughing at your answer probably wasn’t me appreciating a good jest but me enjoying the Schadenfreude in a sadistic triumph because you keep digging for yourselves your own little graves without even knowing about it.
— Salisa to Anton, June 25th, 2026
Characterless people like you and your race aren’t going to be able to appreciate people with actual character no matter how hard you try and however much you think you do. It doesn’t work that way. […] It’s the emotional and mental and intellectual and moral qualities that even the scale. You can never grasp it intellectually or feel it emotionally what actual character is or how that’s good for you. It’s a culturally and socially learned thing which being born into a character-less and value-less culture makes you crippled for life. And so it makes this whole thing much more entertaining and delightful. All of this trouble of an extraordinary if not existential scale for something you can never know or appreciate? Greek tragedy of the most epic proportion. LOL.
You’re gonna think I’m too much of a “hassle” and not “worth it” and much less agreeable than a common street whore. You’re going to fall out of “love” with me real quick when reality hits you in the face. Because you’re a primitive race who still believes in “love” as it does in “God” which is to say as if it means anything to you aside from a murky concept that engenders temporary delusion and makes you blind to everything else that has nothing to do with it which happens to make up all of it. So we’re going to call it quits in less than two years believe it or not. No problemo with me. You’re going to leave me worse off in life emotionally and financially and psychologically than if I’ve never met you. Which is to say you’re going to effectively ruin my life. Which is why a trip to the British embassy is the most attractive option to me at this point.
Living a 1D life of money, looks and status isn’t going to make you capable of appreciating someone who lives a 4D life of intelligence, kindness, humility, passion, love and success. Because you don’t know what that is because you’ve never experienced it. And because people around you don’t manifest it or embody it in a way that’s perceptible or valuable to you. That’s why you keep talking about “inner” beauty or spirit in grandiose terms without knowing how this translates into a real world phenotype and how it manifests in different people in different ways. The grand and the abstract cover up the lack of the actual and the concrete. That’s because it’s all fuzzy to you being from a 1D world looking onto 4D people. And it isn’t just something to grasp intellectually. Your mind and your body have been programmed since birth to feel a certain emotion when coming across a certain trigger, and you will be hard-pressed to interpret a certain trigger (my action, mannerism, thinking, feeling, preference, expression) within your own narrow 1D framework without being able to correctly map it along the 4D dimension. Unless you learn to successfully acculturate into another culture that has refined thinking and feeling and being and that often takes a few full years to five years at the very least, we are going to keep clashing on non-matters and misunderstand each other all the time no matter what you do and however hard you try.
And you’re never going to be able to understand me and who I am in my entirety of being. My personality is more on the fringe even among the 4D people. You’re never going to get anywhere with me it’s sad to say.
But the least you can do is to show some basic kindness and consideration. That often connects people across cultures around the globe even if attitudes and mentalities and values and morals don’t match. But you struggle with that all the time and all the more when it’s particularly needed with me in this state and the world in the same prickly fragile state. Everything and everyone in tatters and you and none of you could be bothered to extend some basic courtesy or consideration towards anyone else including among yourselves. It’s a sad, sorry condition.
And so people become incensed not just by your treatment of me but you and your treatment of your friend and your men and your country and your friend’s treatment of me and you and his country. What’s wrong with presenting a unified front? Just get me anywhere and ration the loot of war among yourselves and as I’ve made clear to everyone I have no real problems with that. Yet you have to expose your infightings to the world and so the smallest crack in the armour spurs on the greatest strength of the enemies. Warfare 101, darlings. Where have you all been?
So in a way you can frame all this as a show of weakness brought on by stupidity and vice. Selfishness at all costs regardless of who suffers including one’s friends and one’s men and one’s country. But the real underlying cause of all this is the failure of basic kindness and compassion towards other human beings be it friends or enemies or innocent people or one’s own people. The biggest and deepest and grandest moral failure of all time.
— Salisa to Anton, June 26th, 2026
Salisa lohavittayavikant 